Everyone is in Europe and I mean everyone from that influencer you follow on Instagram to your cousin with the neck tattoo and complicated history with his driver’s license.
Everyone has fled Australia and headed over to prance around Europe and it has become the new Bali.
We’ve taken on Parisian culture with our thongs, questionable taste in tattoos and Bondi Le Sands tanning range.
The result? We’ve made Europe officially bogan.
Sure, we might enjoy a glass of red wine while taking in the sights of Italy but there’s a high chance that underneath that picturesque restaurant table our feet are barely covered by our favourite pair of Havaianas.
I can’t be sure at this point but I’m betting Europe now smells of Lynx Africa as we send our best men over there to enjoy the sun.
There’s always something culturally charming about when the masses of Australia discover a new holiday destination.
The early 2000s was when we all decided to dedicate our lives to going to Bali. It was prime time because that was back when bootleg DVDs were considered social currency and getting your hair braided was fashion not cultural appropriation.
“Come over to my house and watch a weirdly dark shot version of Pirates of the Caribbean.”
That sentence was practically considered boastful. It said I’m cultured, I’m travelled and I’m here to share my findings with you.
I mean, sure, vacations in Europe were definitely a thing in the early 2000s but only if you were the elite. You know like Russell Crowe would be spotted over there once the Rabbitohs season was done and he could finally fully relax.
Now, it isn’t just celebrities and that one cousin whose parents got rich from the building industry, it is just all types of Aussies heading over there in droves.
Maybe it is because of the pandemic and spending so much time stuck in our houses and apartments or maybe it is the cost of living crisis and everyone figures they can’t save … so why not just spend?
It has simply become the new done thing and I don’t need to know the “why” to enjoy it.
In the same way I don’t need to know why Guy Sebastian is infatuated with fedoras, I’m just simply happy that it is a thing.
If you insist on getting the facts involved though, a Finder survey recently found that 15 per cent of Aussies refused to give up going on overseas holidays despite the cost of living.
Gary Hunter, travel insurance expert at Finder said that while the cost of living crisis has made international travel “out of reach” for plenty of Aussies … it hasn’t stopped us all.
“There’s still plenty who are desperate to jet off. Some are even cutting back on essentials in order to save up some cash to go on holiday,” he said.
The most Aussie thing ever might be living off 2 minute noodles so you can live it up Europe for two weeks – it is a very, “she’ll be right,” approach.
Hunter said that international travel is becoming more and more popular, basically, the bogans are on the loose and you can’t stop us now.
“Our research shows international travel has been trending upwards since February 2022 – people are eager to resume travelling after a long pause due to the pandemic,” he said.
So should Aussies be travelling?
Well, Hunter said there’s no reason to hit “pause” as long as you fit it into your “budget”.
The Aussies that have fit it into their budgets have not disappointed with the content.
Take influencer and OnlyFans star Mikaela Testa, who infamously complained that some pretty locations take the “entire day” to walk to.
There’s something profoundly Aussie about having a “yeah nah” approach to trekking to some of the most beautiful spots in the world.
We’ve also seen former WAG Nadia Bartel heading over to enjoy the sun and post some gorgeous snaps of her in a bikini and wandering around idyllic European streets.
That is nice and all. But what I’m loving is seeing my feed filled with the regular Aussies I know. The ones that have decided to head off on their big trip and live it up lavishly. I’m sorry but there’s nothing quite like seeing someone posed outside the Eiffel Tower with their southern cross tattoo on display.
I love seeing people walking around in their P.E. Nation activewear and realising how absurdly bold it looks among the Europeans in their tasteful cream and white linen outfits.
You know what it tells me: it tells me that the bogans have found Europe and honestly, once the locals have a beer with us, they’ll realise how lucky they are.
